Comments on: Coping with Miscarriage http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/ Vaginal birth after cesarean? Don't freak, know the facts. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:51:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: AmyM http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-36888 AmyM Sat, 23 Jul 2011 23:38:42 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-36888 This is beautifully and hauntingly written. I miscarried our first, and am now so scared that my recent c-section will cause more miscarriages. I have found some peace with what happened, but that angel will never leave my heart. I was walking my 6-month-old daughter around her nursery this evening, describing things to her, and I showed her the stuffed giraffe my mother had given me upon finding out I was pregnant the first time. I told her that her sister or brother had wanted her to have it, and it has a special place of honor in her crib. Thank you for sharing your story. I had mine written down, in full, not too long after it happened last March, but the file on my computer has since been lost, somehow. It breaks my heart, because that was something I had meant to keep forever. This is beautifully and hauntingly written. I miscarried our first, and am now so scared that my recent c-section will cause more miscarriages. I have found some peace with what happened, but that angel will never leave my heart. I was walking my 6-month-old daughter around her nursery this evening, describing things to her, and I showed her the stuffed giraffe my mother had given me upon finding out I was pregnant the first time. I told her that her sister or brother had wanted her to have it, and it has a special place of honor in her crib.
Thank you for sharing your story. I had mine written down, in full, not too long after it happened last March, but the file on my computer has since been lost, somehow. It breaks my heart, because that was something I had meant to keep forever.

]]> By: Candice http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-722 Candice Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:13:16 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-722 My husband and I tried to conceive for over two years. We were so excited when we found out on Oct. 21st that I was pregnant. It was amazing how I could have felt so connected so quickly. Obviously, as soon as we found out we told all out family and friends. I began spotting on December 11th and my husband immediately took me to the ER. I knew right away that something was wrong. My husband, trying to convince me and him, continued to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be fine. They did an ultrasound and determined that the baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. At 8.2 weeks, I was told the heartbeat was at 171. It absolutely hurt me more than words can say because it just seemed more real once I knew there was a heartbeat. I couldn't and still don't understand why this happened to us. I, like you, still get upset from time to time but try to "cover up" how I really feel for friends and family, even my husband at times. I just feel that he wouldn't understand and I feel myself trying to pull away from him and I don't want this to happen. He is my best friend and he has been there for me through everything and I know he wants to be there for me now, I just don't want him to know how this has truly affected me. We do want to try again but I am so worried that it will happen to us again, that I am beginning to shut down. How do you overcome something like this? My mother-in-law had a miscarriage before she had my husband and she understands but to others it just like "ok, you had a miscarriage, get over it". I feel so alone even when I am in a crowded room of family members. Thank you for sharing this piece with others. Although, I cried through the entire thing, I really did need to read that. I am very sorry for your loss. <em>Candice, Since my reply was long, I moved it <a href="http://vbacfacts.com/2009/01/16/coping-with-miscarriage-ii/" rel="nofollow">here</a>. Best, Jen<em> My husband and I tried to conceive for over two years. We were so excited when we found out on Oct. 21st that I was pregnant. It was amazing how I could have felt so connected so quickly. Obviously, as soon as we found out we told all out family and friends. I began spotting on December 11th and my husband immediately took me to the ER. I knew right away that something was wrong. My husband, trying to convince me and him, continued to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be fine. They did an ultrasound and determined that the baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. At 8.2 weeks, I was told the heartbeat was at 171. It absolutely hurt me more than words can say because it just seemed more real once I knew there was a heartbeat. I couldn’t and still don’t understand why this happened to us. I, like you, still get upset from time to time but try to “cover up” how I really feel for friends and family, even my husband at times. I just feel that he wouldn’t understand and I feel myself trying to pull away from him and I don’t want this to happen. He is my best friend and he has been there for me through everything and I know he wants to be there for me now, I just don’t want him to know how this has truly affected me. We do want to try again but I am so worried that it will happen to us again, that I am beginning to shut down. How do you overcome something like this? My mother-in-law had a miscarriage before she had my husband and she understands but to others it just like “ok, you had a miscarriage, get over it”. I feel so alone even when I am in a crowded room of family members. Thank you for sharing this piece with others. Although, I cried through the entire thing, I really did need to read that. I am very sorry for your loss.

Candice, Since my reply was long, I moved it here. Best, Jen

]]> By: Honey http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-124 Honey Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:22:43 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-124 thank you. I miscarried yesterday. And yes I needed to read that, and yes it helps and yes I'm crying again. thank you. I'm sorry for yor loss too. x thank you. I miscarried yesterday. And yes I needed to read that, and yes it helps and yes I’m crying again.
thank you.
I’m sorry for yor loss too.
x

]]> By: Cynthia http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-56 Cynthia Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:57:19 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-56 Funny reading this form you this week. I miscarried about a month ago, a close friend MCed about 2 weeks ago and another dear friend lost her little one this week. Its been quite an emotional rollarcoaster...trying to move thru fresh grief and having the scab ripped open over and over again while trying to be a shoulder to cry on for others. Why is it so hard to talk about in our society? why is it something we don't talk about, we're supossed to just forget it, accept it was fate and thats all. Thank you for reminding me that I- and many other women- aren't alone. You write so well Jen. *hugs* Funny reading this form you this week. I miscarried about a month ago, a close friend MCed about 2 weeks ago and another dear friend lost her little one this week. Its been quite an emotional rollarcoaster…trying to move thru fresh grief and having the scab ripped open over and over again while trying to be a shoulder to cry on for others. Why is it so hard to talk about in our society? why is it something we don’t talk about, we’re supossed to just forget it, accept it was fate and thats all. Thank you for reminding me that I- and many other women- aren’t alone. You write so well Jen. *hugs*

]]> By: labortrials http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-41 labortrials Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:02:26 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-41 I know how you feel. Have you heard of the book "Motherhood Lost"? Not only has it given me perspective on miscarriage but also cesarean grief. I think you'd like it. I have also chronicled my miscarriage experiences at my blog. And I talk very openly about my miscarriages and what my current pregnancy means to me. I try and present it in a way that people won't really feel sorry for me. I'm pretty open about it with the college students. They need to know that it is likely that they or someone they care about will experience miscarriage. Harsh reality. Hugs, Kimberly I know how you feel. Have you heard of the book “Motherhood Lost”? Not only has it given me perspective on miscarriage but also cesarean grief. I think you’d like it.

I have also chronicled my miscarriage experiences at my blog. And I talk very openly about my miscarriages and what my current pregnancy means to me. I try and present it in a way that people won’t really feel sorry for me. I’m pretty open about it with the college students. They need to know that it is likely that they or someone they care about will experience miscarriage. Harsh reality.

Hugs,
Kimberly

]]> By: Bren http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-40 Bren Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:06:36 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-40 Thanks for sharing. I've had 3 m/c and have 2 live children. It doesn't get easier, each loss is unique and painful. You're so right about how others act as if if never happened...maybe stories like this will start to change that. Thanks for sharing. I’ve had 3 m/c and have 2 live children. It doesn’t get easier, each loss is unique and painful. You’re so right about how others act as if if never happened…maybe stories like this will start to change that.

]]> By: Cheryl Tefft http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/comment-page-1/#comment-38 Cheryl Tefft Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:28:20 +0000 http://vbacfacts.com/2008/02/06/coping-with-miscarriage/#comment-38 Whoaaaaa.....this is really powerful and 'right on'! I predict that many, many women will read this, and those that have experienced the same thing, will understand every word you've written here and thank you for it. Wonderful! Cheryl - age 65 (& still remembering the loss) Whoaaaaa…..this is really powerful and ‘right on’! I predict that many, many women will read this, and those that have experienced the same thing, will understand every word you’ve written here and thank you for it. Wonderful!
Cheryl – age 65 (& still remembering the loss)

]]>