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The emotional & physical pain that cesareans cause

This is a sad post I’m sharing with permission from a new member of the ICAN email support group.  I’m hoping this post will inspire that person who is ‘on the fence’ between VBAC and repeat cesarean to make the extra effort and fight for that VBAC rather than mourn yet another cesarean.

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I just had my 3rd child on December 10, 2007 via c-section. My first born was vaginal, 2nd was emergency c-section after laboring for 12 or so hours. The baby was in distress, i think the ob was interfering too much, she broke my water, and then labor stopped so she pushed pitocin, and end result c-section. I didn’t realize how bad it affected me emotionally until i got home. The recovery took 2 months. With this recent c-section, i had wanted a vbac, and my ob was willing to try but really tried to convince me against it. So we scheduled the c-sec and if i went into labor before that, then we would try a vbac. I didn’t research it enough, but kept praying for the best. I went into labor an hour before my scheduled c-sec. I went to the hospital and told the labor nurse i was in labor, but she prepped me for the c-sec. I was confused, freezing to death, and in pain. so, instead of voicing my opinion, i went ahead with the c-sec. Big mistake. I am so thankful i have a healthy baby boy, but it was an ordeal. the recovery is worse than before, I couldn’t be there for my 2 year old. It was difficult to breastfeed because the incision pain. My spine hurts from the spinal block, and my bladder hurts when i pee, which i will discuss with the ob at my 6 week visit. i hope it is nothing. For the longest time every time i would get a moment to myself i would obsess about why i didn’t speak up, why i didn’t try harder for the vbac. i felt cheated from a birth, one i would have recovered from and wouldn’t feel so broken. I plan to have more children, but if i have to have a c-sec i don’t think i can do it.

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2 comments to The emotional & physical pain that cesareans cause

  • Jilliansmommy

    i can totally relate to your story. my daughter just turned one, and while i am so thankful to have a happy, healthy baby girl, i just wish i didn’t let myself be talked into a c section so quickly. i was 5 days past my due date when my c sec was scheduled. i started getting contractions the morning of my scheduled c section. can’t help but think that my daughter could have been born naturally if i waited. c section was scheduled because i was past my due date and they expected my daughter to be big…no other reason. baby was not in distress.

  • Kylee Stef

    Hey there, I had my first three children vaginally and naturally and it was great. Only I didn’t realize it was great until I had a c-section. My fourth was dying at 24 weeks of age, the placenta was bad and he wasn’t growing. They wanted a csection then…we went home instead. He grew and lived until 28 weeks, however, so we thought he really had a shot at life at that point. If he stayed inside me he would surely die. He grew weaker and I knew he was on his way out, so we agree to the csection at that point. The doctors said labor would kill him for sure because of the strain on the placenta. They also said there was no way around it being a classical c-section. No one ever told us the risks or any other option. My body was screaming that I did NOT want a c-section but I wanted my boy to live. We agreed but he died while they were sewing me up. The doctor peirced his trachea with the intubation tube. I never saw him alive. I never felt him leave. He was kicking inside me and them someone handed him to us dead. It was so surreal. Harder than dealing with his death, though, has been dealing with what happened to my body. I know it doesn’ seem like it should be that way but it’s much harder to deal with learning how to walk again for 4 weeks and, like you said, peeing with pain. It’s been 15 weeks for me and I still pee with pain. I have sex with pain. I was a runner and now I can’t run without severe abdominal pain. My stomach hasn’t digested properly since. I was a healthy 28 year old and I feel like I’m at least 40. On top of that the doctors now say I have to have a c-section because of my classical incision. We wanted 6 children and I told everyone that, but no one once told us the fight we would face post surgery. They are very concerned only with interfering at the moment. No one can tell me where all of the pain is coming from. No one cares now that the procedure is done. Women have vbac’d with a classical and an inverted “T” and been just fine. I will never have another cesarean either. I’d rather die and then they can take the baby. It is that bad and I am furious with everyone I talked to beforehand that just said c-sections were no big deal. You know you develop adhesions that cause pelvic pain the rest of your life? You can never undo a c-section. Your body will never be the same again. No one tells you that either. My body knew my son wouldn’t live- I wish I would have left nature alone and let him go in peace and die within me. That was no way for him to die and this was no way for me to spend the past 15 weeks. Watch “Pregnant in America” and “The Business of Being Born”. We’ve all been sold a giant lie that these things are ok. Birth is beautiful until it’s messed with.

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