When you are the statistic: Uterine rupture loss

by | Apr 22, 2016 | 1 comment

Above: “I donated my wedding dress to be made into gowns for deceased infants to be buried in. I had pictures done in my dress before I donated it. This is one of my favorites.” – Kaila Flory

Kaila Flory lost her baby to a uterine rupture eight months ago. She recently reached out to me and gave me permission to share her story and pictures of her son Beau.  She is currently raising money to purchase Cuddle Cots in Beau’s memory. Cuddle Cots are refrigerated bassinets that enable loss parents to spend more time with their child. While t-shirt sales end on April 22, 2016 at midnight EST, you can donate anytime. Even just $10 will get her closer to her goal. Buy a t-shirt and/or donate here.  Connect with her Facebook page here

Women who have had uterine ruptures and lost their babies have endured some of our greatest fears. But they are part of our community as well. When the VBAC Facts Community, a Facebook group, was opened to the public, we welcomed and embraced the parents who joined us after their loss. Often they felt like they were no longer part of the birth community. They didn’t know where they fit in. They felt isolated and yet they wanted to share their story. We had many loss moms as members and many parents who were planning VBACs who wanted to hear their stories.

What follows is Kaila’s story.

Kaila Flory’s first son was born by cesarean after being induced for intrauterine growth restriction. When she was 38 weeks and a few days pregnant with her second son, 26-year-old Kaila started having cramps around 1 a.m. “Luckily I had stayed with my dad, so I was not alone with my 3 year old. My husband was at Basic Training. Then a contraction came. Ok, I thought, this is real. It’s time. Then another came. It had only been like a minute or 2. Then severe pain came over my abdomen, and my face and limbs went numb.”

Her father called the paramedics and she was rushed to the hospital, where a STAT c-section was ordered. She nearly bled to death.

Beau-&-Kaila

“This is the only photo I have of myself holding him. I requested people to not take my photo, but I am so glad my best friend took this with her phone. THIS is what raw, real pain looks like. This is why I want people to have Infant Loss Awareness.”

She says:

While I wholeheartedly believe that women should be given the option for VBACs, I also believe women need to consider their child’s health as the most important in this situation. I would have loved to have 3 weeks of pain just to have my son in my arms. I know it is not my fault, and that they do not, normally, schedule a c-section until 39 weeks, but part of me still feels guilty.

When Kaila contacted me, my heart broke. I emailed her back:

Kaila,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and I am so sorry about your loss.

I want you to know that I hear you. I really hear you.

I talk quite a bit about how these small numbers represent real women and real babies and it doesn’t matter how small the risk is, if it happens to you, if you are that number, it’s devastating.

The difficulty is that there are serious risks both ways. With VBAC, we have uterine rupture. With repeat cesareans, we have accreta.

Accreta results in more maternal deaths, more maternal complications and comparable infant deaths and complications to uterine rupture. Accreta requires a more sophisticated response of which many hospitals are unable to offer which results in more deaths and complications. Many women are never told about the risks of accreta which prohibits them from making an informed decision. [View my sources and read more about accreta here.]

I discuss uterine rupture and accreta extensively in my workshops including how often it happens, variables that can impact the rate, and outcomes for mother and baby because there is so much confusion about where the risk lies and what could happen.

The other difficulty is that no one can predict how an individual birth will play out. Will you be the one to have a uterine rupture? An accreta? And in either of these situations, will you be the one to lose your baby? Or will you have a safe VBAC or repeat cesarean with a healthy mom and baby? There are no guarantees in life and no crystal balls.

Some women who lose their babies to uterine rupture say, “Don’t plan VBACs.”

Some women who lose their babies to accreta say, “I wish I had access to VBAC.”

So the question is, if there are serious complications either way, who should make the decision on how to birth?

It always comes down to the mother.

Given the small chance of a bad outcome, women should have the option to decide what set of risks and benefits are tolerable to them. They should not be forced into cesareans or mislead into VBACs. This needs to be their decision based on information. Part of the reason why I started VBAC Facts is that I, as a consumer, wanted more information and it wasn’t easy for me to find.

To bring it full circle, I hear you.

Have you had the opportunity to connect with other loss moms? I have compiled a resource page here.

I know it may ring hollow, but you are not to blame. Sometimes things happen that we cannot predict and that are outside of our control and I’m so very sorry you were the statistic.

I’ll keep you in my heart Kaila. <3

Warmly,

 

Jen

Kaila replied:

I will be honest with you, my doctor did not mention accreta once. Wow that is scary too. 🙁 I don’t wish that or a rupture on anyone. Thank you so much for responding to me. And thank you for advising women on what to do after a C-section. If you ever want to use my story, please let me know. I would be happy to share it for statistic purposes. Thanks so much! 🙂

So I’m sharing Kaila’s story today. As I said in my email to her, I talk about the risks of uterine rupture and accreta in my workshops because they are both real risks on either side of the equation. Sadly, a small number of people will experience this reality, and they deserve our support and compassion.

I do hope you will support Kaila’s Cuddle Cots fundraiser. Even just $10 will get her closer to her goal. Donate here. Connect with her Facebook page here.

Learn more about Infant Loss Awareness here.

What do you think?
Leave a comment.

What do you think? Leave a comment.

1 Comment

  1. I appreciate you article. I have 4 children and am pregnant with my 5th. My first 2 babies were breach and were delivered by C-section my third baby was in regular position and if I had tried a VBAC, I would’ve been that statistic of uterine rupture. I didn’t know during my pregnancy but my uterus was so thin that I had a window meaning you could see the baby through my uterus. I am so thankful that I listened to my dr and didn’t try a vaginal delivery! With my 4th baby I was on bed rest, and I’m sure I will have to be with this baby, I’m 28 weeks, but again I am so great flu that I listened to my dr, otherwise I would have lost my 3rd baby and not have had the chance to have my fourth or fifth!

    Reply

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Jen Kamel

Jen Kamel is the founder of VBAC Facts, an educational, training and consulting firm. As a nationally recognized VBAC strategist and consumer advocate, she has been invited to present Grand Rounds at hospitals, served as an expert witness in a legal proceeding, and has traveled the country educating hundreds of professionals and highly motivated parents. She speaks at national conferences and has worked as a legislative consultant in various states focusing on midwifery legislation and regulations. She has testified multiple times in front of the California Medical Board and legislative committees on the importance of VBAC access and is a board member for the California Association of Midwives.

Learn more >

Free Report Reveals...

Parents pregnant after a cesarean face so much misinformation about VBAC. As a result, many who are good VBAC candidates are coerced into repeat cesareans. This free report provides quick clarity on 5 uterine rupture myths so you can tell fact from fiction and avoid the bait & switch.

VBAC Facts does not provide any medical advice and the information provided should not be so construed or used. Nothing provided by VBAC Facts is intended to replace the services of a qualified physician or midwife or to be a substitute for medical advice of a qualified physician or midwife. You should not rely on anything provided by VBAC Facts and you should consult a qualified health care professional in all matters relating to your health. Created By: Jen Kamel | Copyright 2017 VBAC Facts | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy

 

When you are the statistic: Uterine rupture loss

by | Apr 22, 2016 | 1 comment

Above: “I donated my wedding dress to be made into gowns for deceased infants to be buried in. I had pictures done in my dress before I donated it. This is one of my favorites.” – Kaila Flory

Kaila Flory lost her baby to a uterine rupture eight months ago. She recently reached out to me and gave me permission to share her story and pictures of her son Beau.  She is currently raising money to purchase Cuddle Cots in Beau’s memory. Cuddle Cots are refrigerated bassinets that enable loss parents to spend more time with their child. While t-shirt sales end on April 22, 2016 at midnight EST, you can donate anytime. Even just $10 will get her closer to her goal. Buy a t-shirt and/or donate here.  Connect with her Facebook page here

Women who have had uterine ruptures and lost their babies have endured some of our greatest fears. But they are part of our community as well. When the VBAC Facts Community, a Facebook group, was open to the public, we welcomed and embraced the parents who joined us after their loss. Often they felt like they were no longer part of the birth community. They didn’t know where they fit in. They felt isolated and yet they wanted to share their story. We had many loss moms as members and many parents who were planning VBACs wanted to hear their stories.

What follows is Kaila’s story.

Kaila’s Flory’s first son was born by cesarean after being induced for intrauterine growth restriction. When she was 38 weeks and a few days pregnant with her second son, 26-year-old Kaila started having cramps around 1 a.m. “Luckily I had stayed with my dad, so I was not alone with my 3 year old. My husband was at Basic Training. Then a contraction came. Ok, I thought, this is real. It’s time. Then another came. It had only been like a minute or 2. Then severe pain came over my abdomen, and my face and limbs went numb.”

Her father called the paramedics and she was rushed to the hospital, where a STAT c-section was ordered. She nearly bled to death.

Beau-&-Kaila

“This is the only photo I have of myself holding him. I requested people to not take my photo, but I am so glad my best friend took this with her phone. THIS is what raw, real pain looks like. This is why I want people to have Infant Loss Awareness.”

She says:

While I wholeheartedly believe that women should be given the option for VBACs, I also believe women need to consider their child’s health as the most important in this situation. I would have loved to have 3 weeks of pain just to have my son in my arms. I know it is not my fault, and that they do not, normally, schedule a c-section until 39 weeks, but part of me still feels guilty.

When Kaila contacted me, my heart broke. I emailed her back:

Kaila,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and I am so sorry about your loss.

I want you to know that I hear you. I really hear you.

I talk quite a bit about how these small numbers represent real women and real babies and it doesn’t matter how small the risk is, if it happens to you, if you are that number, it’s devastating.

The difficulty is that there are serious risks both ways. With VBAC, we have uterine rupture. With repeat cesareans, we have accreta.

Accreta results in more maternal deaths, more maternal complications and comparable infant deaths and complications to uterine rupture. Accreta requires a more sophisticated response of which many hospitals are unable to offer which results in more deaths and complications. Many women are never told about the risks of accreta which prohibits them from making an informed decision. [View my sources and read more about accreta here.]

I discuss uterine rupture and accreta extensively in my workshops including how often it happens, variables that can impact the rate, and outcomes for mother and baby because there is so much confusion about where the risk lies and what could happen.

The other difficulty is that no can predict how an individual birth will play out. Will you be the one to have a uterine rupture? An accreta? And in either of these situations, will you be the one to lose your baby? Or will you have a safe VBAC or repeat cesarean with a healthy mom and baby? There are no guarantees in life and no crystal balls.

Some women who lose their babies to uterine rupture say, “Don’t plan VBACs.”

Some women who lose their babies to accreta say, “I wish I had access to VBAC.”

So the question is, if there are serious complications either way, who should make the decision on how to birth?

It always comes down to the mother.

Given the small chance of a bad outcome, women should have the option to decide what set of risks and benefits are tolerable to them. They should not be forced into cesareans or mislead into VBACs. This needs to be their decision based on information. Part of the reason why I started VBAC Facts is that I, as a consumer, wanted more information and it wasn’t easy for me to find.

To bring it full circle, I hear you.

Have you had the opportunity to connect with other loss moms? I have compiled a resource page here.

I know it may ring hollow, but you are not to blame. Sometimes things happen that we cannot predict and that are outside of our control and I’m so very sorry you were the statistic.

I’ll keep you in my heart Kaila. <3

Warmly,

Jen

Kaila replied:

I will be honest with you, my doctor did not mention accreta once. Wow that is scary too. 🙁 I don’t wish that or a rupture on anyone. Thank you so much for responding to me. And thank you for advising women on what to do after a C-section. If you ever want to use my story, please let me know. I would be happy to share it for statistic purposes. Thanks so much! 🙂

So I’m sharing Kaila’s story today. As I said in my email to her, I talk about the risks of uterine rupture and accreta in my workshops because they are both real risks on either side of the equation. Sadly, a small number of people will experience this reality, and they deserve our support and compassion.

I do hope you will support Kaila’s Cuddle Cots fundraiser. Even just $10 will get her closer to her goal. Donate here. Connect with her Facebook page here.

Learn more about Infant Loss Awareness here.

What do you think? Leave a comment.

1 Comment

  1. I appreciate you article. I have 4 children and am pregnant with my 5th. My first 2 babies were breach and were delivered by C-section my third baby was in regular position and if I had tried a VBAC, I would’ve been that statistic of uterine rupture. I didn’t know during my pregnancy but my uterus was so thin that I had a window meaning you could see the baby through my uterus. I am so thankful that I listened to my dr and didn’t try a vaginal delivery! With my 4th baby I was on bed rest, and I’m sure I will have to be with this baby, I’m 28 weeks, but again I am so great flu that I listened to my dr, otherwise I would have lost my 3rd baby and not have had the chance to have my fourth or fifth!

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Free Report Reveals...

Parents pregnant after a cesarean face so much misinformation about VBAC. As a result, many who are good VBAC candidates are coerced into repeat cesareans. This free report provides quick clarity on 5 uterine rupture myths so you can tell fact from fiction. DOWNLOAD NOW

VBAC Facts does not provide any medical advice and the information provided should not be so construed or used. Nothing provided by VBAC Facts is intended to replace the services of a qualified physician or midwife or to be a substitute for medical advice of a qualified physician or midwife. You should not rely on anything provided by VBAC Facts and you should consult a qualified health care professional in all matters relating to your health. Created By: Jen Kamel | Copyright 2017 VBAC Facts | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy