The first, and this is definitely the most common, is that an uncircumcised penis looks ‘weird.’  Well, that’s because in America, most grown US born men were circumcised so that is what we are all accustomed to seeing.  It’s entirely cultural.

In other parts of the world, female circumcision aka female genital mutilation aka female genital cutting [FGM] is common.  These terms collectively refer to the “partial or total removal of the clitoris (clitoridectomy),and/or the prepuce removal clitoral hood” and/or “partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (excision)” and/or “narrowing of the vaginal orifice with creation of a covering seal by cutting and appositioning the labia minora and/or the labia majora” and/or “pricking the clitoris with needles, burning or scarring the genitals as well as ripping or tearing of the vagina.”

Yet, read the reasons behind FGC as listed by Wikipedia:

… range from health-related to social benefits:^[38]

• maintenance of cleanliness
• maintenance of good health
• preservation of virginity
• enhancement of fertility
• prevention of promiscuity
• increase of matrimonial opportunities
• pursuance of aesthetics
• improvement of male sexual performance and pleasure
• promotion of social and political cohesion

Two comments.  First, health-related and social benefits.  Sound like the reasons for male circumcision we hear in the States?  And the second comment, yeah, aesthetics.  They think it looks better to have your labia shaved off and your vagina sown smaller.  It’s entirely cultural.  It is what we, as Americans, are accustomed to seeing that defines what we think is ‘weird’ versus ‘normal.’  And since only 50% of boys are currently circumcised, that norm will soon change.  Thus, not a good enough reason. 

The second reason, “we want our sons to look like our circumcised husbands.”  I asked myself, “If I was the victim of FGC, would I want that done to my daughter just so she would look like me?”  And the answer was, “No.”  Someday, our son will notice that he looks different than his dad and we will explain it to him.  I didn’t find this to be a compelling reason.

The third reason, “we don’t want our son to be made fun of in the locker room.”  First, we are homeschooling, but even if he went to school, he would not be a freak because 70% of boys in the Western states are intact.  He will be the norm, not the exception. 

The fourth reason is that it decreases the chance of penile cancer.  Well shoot, let me remove my breasts so I don’t get breast cancer.  Or take my ovaries out so I don’t get ovarian cancer.  Yes, when you remove a body part that eliminates the risk of cancer.  But is it worth removing a piece of your child’s body, that serves a function, for that small chance?

The fifth reason is that it’s cleaner.  We’ve already seen that cleanliness is a reason for FGM, which sounds so odd to Americans, yet we use the same rationale for male circumcision.  This is clearly a cultural perspective/rationale.  I also have to wonder: How did the human race survive if the presence of a foreskin was dirty in a time where cleanliness, as we define it today, was almost impossible?  And then I wonder: If it was cleaner to be circumcised, and uncircumcised penises are threatened with constant infection, why did the penis evolve to have a foreskin? 

Which brings us to the sixth reason: the foreskin, or prepuce, has no function.  It’s just worthless skin, so it’s not a big deal to cut it off.  The video below, by Doctors Opposing Circumcision, rebuts that quite well.

And I just have to say one more thing.  When my son was admitted to the hospital at 13 days of life for jaundice, he had an IV put in.  The nurses came into our room to take him to the Procedure Room and I wanted to stay with him.  They looked at me questionably and when I insisted they ‘allowed’ me to come.  (I say ‘allowed’ because there was no way in hell I was going to ‘allow’ my son to get an IV, and the pain that entailed, without me being with him.)  My son, my little baby boy, was screaming and crying, with tears going down his face, as multiple nurses tried to place the IV in one wrist and then the other.  It was horrible to watch, but I stayed with my son and spoke to him.  I didn’t want him to go through that physical pain and fear without hearing my familiar voice and feeling my touch.  Over the course of his 4 night stay, his IV “blew” a few times and back to the procedure room we went.  It was horrible, but I’m glad he didn’t have to experience that alone.  I can’t imagine a child being circumcised in a room full of strangers.  That pain (some doctors use local anesthetic) and fear and not a familiar face.

You might also want to view a circumcision to really understand the procedure.

Click here -> The Prepuce: A D.O.C Video

Click here -> Circumcision video

After you watch the videos, check out:

• The Case Against Circumcision by Paul M. Fless, MD Mothering Magazine
• Circumcision: A Closer Look by Dean Edell, MD

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So, my cupboard is full of those cheap, plastic sippy cups, all of which leak to some degree.  Here is a great piece on why plastics, other than plastic #5, is not good for our kids and an interesting news article about the controversy.

Here is my criteria

• BPA free, non-leaching
• Stainless steel or Polypropylene (#5 plastic, view it’s MSDA)
• Dishwasher safe
• Minimal/no leakage
• Recyclable
• Lightweight
• Can fit ice cubes
• Bonus – Not Made in China (which I think will be a tall order because it seems virtually everything available for purchase in the US is made in China)
• Bonus – Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold

I started with the Born Free brand, but after reading less than impressive reviews on Amazon, I decided to investigate other options.

So, I did a search on Amazon for “stainless steel sippy cup.”  (When shopping for anything, Amazon is one of the first websites I go to simply because they typically have wonderful reviews and I can quickly get the pros and cons of almost any item available for purchase.)

First, Klean Kanteen.  I was actually looking at this brand to buy a new water bottle for me.  Right now, I have about 4 Rubbermaid plastic bottles that have several years of use on them.  I want a stainless steel replacement and purchased a Thermos TherMax from my local Target, but it only holds 16 oz and as a nursing mother, I have to refill it often during the day, plus it is pretty heavy.  But, it does keep coffee hot or ice water cold all day.  This is a huge plus because it’s not unusual for me to fill bottle with hot coffee in the morning and not being able to drink it until several hours later when I finally have a moment.

Klean Kanteen has 57 reviews on Amazon and 4 out of 5 stars overall.  Not bad. 

Amazon is selling them at $25.99 for a 12 oz bottle with a sippy spout and adapter.  (That is more than the 40oz version I was looking at for myself.) Or $30 for an 18 ounce bottle?  Wow, that is a pricey option.

Then I look directly on Klean Kanteen’s website.  They show the 12 oz with sippy adapter and two spouts at $17.95.  Ok, that is still a lot of money, but it’s better than $26. 

Maybe this is something I can find used off of eBay.  I look at completed sales for 12oz Klean Kanteen and the prices are not that much less.   I also check out my other favorite website, Overstock.com, but they don’t have any.

Using Google’s shopping comparison, I find that the prices are pretty consistent among vendors – $16 – $18. 

However, Klean Kanteen is made in China… from their FAQ:

Why is the Kanteen made in China?
The Klean Kanteen is made “responsibly” in China because one of our founding principles was to produce an economically priced high quality stainless steel bottle as an alternative to plastic and lined metal containers therefore promoting healthy living with respect for the environment.

Our preference from the outset has been to produce our bottles closer to home but extensive research in the manufacturing sector left us resolute that our bottles can not be made closer to home at a reasonable price without sacrificing quality and safety, something we are steadfast against.

Is the Klean Kanteen factory safe?
Yes. We visit our manufacturing facilities 4-5 times per year and perform audits every six months to ensure all of our products are produced with respect for the environment and fair labor standards, including: the ethical treatment of factory workers, child labor, wages/benefits, health and safety, etc. Additionally, we do regular lab testing on random shipments through a local lab in the U.S. to ensure our products are made per our specifications, are free of hazardous substances such as lead, and do not leach chromium, manganese, etc.

We believe that the Klean Kanteen is and will continue to be one of the safest and environmentally conscious beverage containers on the market today while upholding stringent design and manufacturing standards.

I read this and can’t help but think of the movie Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price.  They had a heartbreaking section where the people who worked in the Chinese factories were coerced to lie to the inspectors about working conditions, overtime, etc.  So, I am not convinced that because they inspect their factories, that the working conditions are good.  You decide for yourself.

Second, Safe Sippy Cup for $15 for an 11oz stainless steel body and a#5 plastic mouthpiece.  Here is some great information on this cup from Satara:

• There is a no leak valve in the spout of The Safe Sippy™, which is made of clean, non-toxic silicone. When children suck on The Safe Sippy™ liquid flows and when they don’t, it doesn’t.
• The spout of The Safe Sippy™ is straw shaped. Some research has found that a traditional wide drinking spout may cause physical and speech development problems in some children.
• The lid of The Safe Sippy™ is designed to be slightly wider than the cup. If your child drops The Safe Sippy™, that lip will help protect the stainless steel bottle from denting.
• The stainless steel body of The Safe Sippy™ is the most important element of the cup. Made of durable and lightweight medical grade stainless steel, the 11 oz bottle is non-leaching and toxin free.
• Unlike plastic sippies, it’s ok to put The Safe Sippy™ in the dishwasher.
• The handles were designed to help little hands hang onto the cup. Once your child is big enough to grip the bottle at the tapered waist, the handles are removable.
• The tapered waist and the ribbing on the sleeve both help little hands hold onto the cup once they insist that they are too big for the handles.
• The rubbery sleeve surrounding the bottle is made of thermo plasticized rubber, or TPR. The TPR materials provides insulation for cold beverages on hot days, and it also acts as a cushion to protect the stainless steel.

Third, the Foogo Stainless Steel Sippy Cup by Thermos.

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It’s at this point in my research does my daughter ask what I’m doing.  I tell her I’m shopping for sippy cups for her and she asks why and I say because I want to find a better sippy cup.  At this point, I bother to flip over the cup she was drinking from to see that it is in fact made from #5 plastic.  My cheap Take & Toss cups are just fine!

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What a topic this is.  For me, it came down to two things: identity crisis and finding support.

For me, the major thing was figuring out who I was if I wasn’t working.  So much of my identity was tied up in my job: my title, my cute clothes (not covered in snot, play dough, and sand), all of it.  It was hard because even though I wanted to be a SAHM, I did not have very positive images of “mommyhood” in my brain.  But, I really got to know myself better.  Who was I when I wasn’t working?  The fact was, when you are working 40+ hours a week and commuting almost two hours a day plus trying to work out since I was in front of a computer all day, there wasn’t a lot of time for hobbies.  I did like to cook and being a mom, driven by a desire to provide healthy meals, enabled me to have more time to do that… although it took me 5 times as long to complete anything.  I also realized that I loved gardening.  I also started working out more and enjoyed the energy, strength, and lean body that resulted.  And, for the first time since college, by being a SAHM, I made friends.  Real friends.  Friends who I had common interests and life perspectives which is completely different than the people you go to lunch with at work just because they are nice and it’s convenient.

Finding support is surprisingly easy.  There are a lot of groups out there though so it’s just finding them.  The internet is an amazing tool.  YahooGroups are incredible and through a quick query of some of your hobbies, parenting styles/choices, etc, you will find a ton of groups of mommies who think the same way as you.  I personally subscribe to several YahooGroups for attachment parenting (AP), childbirth choice (pro-midwifery and ICAN), AP families who like outdoor activities (camping, hiking, etc), homeschooling groups… I’ve meet a lot of great people.

If you go to Google and type in . . .

mommy support groups

. . . you will get a ton of results.  Add your city/county/state to your query to narrow your results.

If you breastfeed or pump, La Leche League is a great way to connect with like-minded moms.  In fact, I recommend going when you are pregnant because, if you are like a lot of moms, you will have some problems breastfeeding and will need some evidence-based information and it’s nice to have that connection already lined up.  They also have on-line discussion boards which are worth checking out.

The Mothering boards is also another great way to find “crunchy” moms in your area.  I also highly recommend their magazine.  There is nothing else like it for the crunchy mom.

Moxie Moms is a national, chapter-based organization which focuses on fitness.  I have no personal experience with this group, but I love the idea!

MOMS Club is another national, chapter-based organization which focuses on stay-at-home moms.  Due to their strict boundary policy, you may not be able to join a local chapter and rather be asked to start your own.  Volunteering to be on the board of your local chapter can turn into a huge time commitment on par with a part-time job, however, this varies greatly depending on the chapter.

I’ve heard great things about Mothers and More although, since they cater to working as well as SAHM moms, I’ve heard that their meetings are primarily at night, though I suspect that this varies by chapter, so if you are SAHMing, you might need to find more mommies who are home during the day.

I highly recommend joining a gym that has a Kids Klub.  I love LA Fitness.  For $15/month plus my membership fees, I can go to the gym daily with my daughter in the Kids Klub.  It keeps my sane, fit and it’s my “alone time.”  I read or listen to music while working out and it really keeps me emotionally and physically on track.

If you are interested in childbirth choice, whether than is preventing an initial unnecessary c-section, obtaining evidence-based information on VBAC, or connecting with women to get post c-section support, ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) is an incredibly educated group of women.  They do have local chapters as well as an email support group.  Check them out.

If you are a Christian mom, MOPS is worth checking out – support for mommies with the Jesus twist!  I did try out MOPS, but my closest chapter was 25 miles away and in Southern California traffic, that can be a trek!  Also, check out your local church for a women’s bible group or mommy social group.

Finally, if you can’t find a group of moms close to you, start your own.  I know it sounds scary, but I’ll give you the step by step!  I did and it’s been an incredible success.  After less than a year, I have 34 members in my “Group of Mommy Friends.”  It’s been a blast.

1. Create a YahooGroup that is not included in the YahooGroup directory.  It other words, it’s private and people are added by invitation only.  Once people communicate with me and attend an activity, they are added to the group.  This ensures that Maria, mom of two, is really not Phil the pedophile.  The group has worked great and the internet component enables people to get to know each other before they met IRL (in real life) which makes communication and connection easier than when we are at the park with our kids going bonkers.
2. Create free business cards through VistaPrint.com or a similar on-line printer and carry them in your purse.  When you meet moms at the grocery store, library, gym, park, you can give them a card.  When you create a YahooGroup, you, as the administrator, get an email address through YahooGroups which is automatically forwarded to your personal email address.  Include this address on your business cards so your personal email or phone number is not out there.  Once you get a few members, word of mouth will bring more.  It might take a while to find mommies, but they are out there!  You are providing an incredible service and just stick with it.
3. Plan a fun calendar!  I find some activities in Sunset Magazine and craft books for preschoolers.  Based on the interests of your group, you can have luncheons, parties, beach days, Disneyland days, camping weekends, a preschool co-op, swap babysitting, craft days, book clubs, cooking clubs, dinner clubs, storytime, Bible Study, weight loss support, exercise groups, couples night, weekend activities, moms night out, playdates by age or interest, park days, and free days at local museums/botanical gardens. Moms Night Out can be simple: coffee, dinner, dessert, bowling, hang out in a member’s backyard spa, get pedicures, whatever.  Encourage your members to suggest activities and even add them to the calendar.  This a great way to create a sense of ownership within your group and increase participation.
4. One of my major tenants is this: The group is here to support, not obligate.  Just because there are three activities planned this week doesn’t mean everyone is obligated to go to everything.  Take what you want, and leave the rest.  We are moms, we are busy, and we don’t need one more thing on our to do list… we need fun, we need friends, and we want our kids to make friends.  It really doesn’t need to be more complicated than that!
5. Also, recognize that everyone has a different need in terms of the level and kind of support they are looking for.  Some people really enjoy the email conversations whereas others will feel more supported when they meet mommies face-to-face while others will only come to moms’ night out activities.  Your group is not a failure if only 2 people show up to an activity.  Those are two moms who needed support that day, and you are providing the venue for that support.  That makes that activity a success.  Plus, when fewer people show up, people are willing to open up more, share more, and really make connections.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been “retired” for three years, but I am so thankful for this phase of my life.  My daughter is such a blessing and the friends that I’ve made the last few years have been invaluable and a life-saver.  I hope you are able to find support, and even friends, and enjoy this phase of motherhood.

It is really amazing how much stuff she has and yet, she only has a fraction of her friends’ possessions.  I know it’s considered horrid manners, but every year, I include in her birthday invitation something to the affect of, "In lieu of a gift, please consider a contribution to K’s college fund."  While I don’t expect the grandparents to abide by this request, most of our friends have been understanding. 

I know it’s a foreign concept in the USA where most people equate expressing affection with material goods, but I’m really trying to teach our children that the time people spend with us, and their friendship, is far more valuable than a new toy.  I really don’t want her birthday to be about the ’stuff.’  I don’t want her to grow up thinking that success is defined, or happiness obtained, by how much ’stuff’ you have.  I want her to think smart and rather than do the ‘home upgrade’ every few years, put that extra money away for retirement, so she can semi-, or completely, retire early and reap the flexibility and freedom that brings.  (Yes, we are huge Millionaire Next Door fans.)  And since my daughter rarely plays with any of the toys she has, it’s really just a waste to spend money on some plastic, made in China do-dad.  She spends almost every afternoon playing in our backyard, climbing fruit trees, chasing the chickens, exploring under the deck, singing as she sits on the roof of her playhouse, picking flowers, making up stories, trying to ride the dog like a horse, building sand castles… she really doesn’t need, or want, a ton of toys.  I think that afternoon routine is developing her mind and body better than any My Little Pony action figure ever could.

I really resent how almost all toys found in your typical Target or Toys R Us are really just advertisements for TV shows and vice versa.  (Consuming Kids is an excellent commentary on toddler-targeted marketing.)  And the times that I have purchased these mentally vacant toys and ‘twaddle’ books, K played with the toy in question once or twice and then promptly forgot about it.  It’s amazing how a Disney Princess sticker book that she wants "so bad" is forgotten within a week.  With the help of TiVo, we are able to really control how much, and what shows, K watches as well as fast forward through the commercials, but she is still a fan of Horseland and Strawberry Shortcake.  (That’s one thing I really like about HBO Family – no advertisements and, to my knowledge, the shows that they have do not have corresponding merchandise.  Which means I can walk through the toy section with less exclamations of "I want that!")  Don’t get me wrong, we have our fair share of Princess crap, err merchandise, but I’m trying to control the tsunami of commercialism.  Everywhere you look, there is a Princess bike helmet, clock radio, or TV.  Disney has done a great job of marketing virtually everything under the sun with the Princess brand.  I just don’t want it all in my house!  And while it’s fun to think of yourself as a Princess, I try to counter this fantasy with books like The Princess and the Woodcutter’s Daughter, which is more in line with the values we are teaching our children.

Most toys are cheaply made, in foreign countries where people are treated and paid poorly, and then shipped over here, using/wasting fuel, where the price is considerably marked-up, and then we walk in the store and lap it up as if it’s something truly special.   DH and I recently watched the movie Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price which made a compelling argument against shopping at Wal-Mart.  I highly recommend watching this movie and questioning whose economy you are actually supporting when you shop at Wal-Mart and buy things primarily made in China.  (Here’s a hint – It’s not ours.)  I’ve never been a big Wal-Mart shopper, but we do get our oil changed there and I plan to do that elsewhere in the future.

And then you just have the physical space in our house available to store more ’stuff.’  To reclaim space, I conduct a ‘crap reduction’ a couple times a year, scheduling a pick-up via the Salvation Army’s website and donating books to our local library.  Our house simply does not have a lot of storage space and, while I would love to spend a few hundred dollars at The Container Store, revamping all closets in the house and streamlining our storage processes, I simply don’t have the time or money.  So, in order to live in a non-cluttered house where every square inch is not occupied by an object, I’m trying to reduce the amount of stuff that we buy that we would have to store. 

I’m a huge fan of the ‘no/low space’ gift and these are the kind of things I enjoy buying K and others.  Things like tickets to a local zoo.  A CD of music.  (K loves our Signing Time CDs.)  A gift certificate to the local ice cream shop (food doesn’t take up space for long,) Netflix (they have an extensive library of ‘twaddle-free’ movies,) Lakeshore Learning (so many fun activities,) Michael’s (K loves crafts!) or, since K loves the outdoors and camping, REI.  And when I do buy toys, I try to support toy companies that sell well-made, high-quality, non-branded wooden toys, that aren’t full of lead, and contain some intellectual component such as Rosie Hippos or Magic Cabin.  I love to buy Charlotte Mason-esque books.  Or, the best gift of all, a simple check to the college fund.  A $10 check, invested over 15 years, will bring more value to K’s future than something that will simply be donated to good-will in a couple years in almost-new condition.  This year, we are having her party at the local gymnasium, so we will get her a small gift and make our donation to her college fund.  I know she won’t get excited over this now, but when the time comes, she will appreciate it.

And I walk the walk.  Almost always, I write a check, in lieu of a gift, for birthdays.  And as I watch the child open the 20th gift, without a gift receipt, I’m glad that I have given that mommy one less thing to return or store in the over-crowded closet.  If she wants her child to have a particular toy, she can use the money for that, but given the pile of gifts left on the living room floor, I suspect that she, and her child, are not missing that one gift.

In January 2006, I wrote the following piece and it still holds true today.  As I read the part about “living below our means,” I look over to our tile floor which has electrical tape on it to “temporarily” fix some broken tiles and I just laugh.  I’m sure if I was working, that second income would have resulted in that tile being replaced in a respectable about of time.  But, in exchange for hideous broken tile, and excessively stained carpet, I got four years of craziness and fun with my now two kids.  Sure, a little more prettiness around the house would be great, but it’s simply not a priority right now.  Who knows if it will ever be!  What a luxury that will be to worry about that one day!

I hope moms who are struggling with this decision find their own peace.  It’s a huge, scary decision, but I’m so glad I made the choice I did.

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Before I quit my job, there were so many things bouncing around in my hormonal head: balance, having-it-all, feminism, power, money, prestige, image, status, stuff, wearing suits to work, equal work for equal pay, letting down the sisterhood, being the little woman, wasted education, what would I do all day?, giving it all up, living on less, brain atrophy, shopping at Wal-Mart, reading Ladies Home Journal, do smart women quit?, isolation, boredom, jealousy and I looked around and saw women I knew who had kids and worked full-time and they seemed perfectly happy.  My chiropractor said she didn’t know anyone who didn’t work at least part-time.  People told me I was to smart to be “just a mom.”  Why should I have to give anything up?  Why couldn’t I too have it all?

I thought about quitting and working from every angle, but the more I thought, the more I was confused.  There were to many things to consider.  To many unknowns.  Then I had a revelation: time.  How did I want to live my life?  There are only 24 hours in a day.  How did I want to spend that time?  I had to decide what was important to me and being a lover of lists, I had to write it down:

• My husband
• Our child(ren)
• Our home
• Our health
• Our friends & family

And then I had to think about what my life would be like if I worked full-time…

• Little to no quality time with husband
• Little to no quality time with child
• Little to no time to maintain our home
• Little to no time to exercise and cook
• Little to no time with friends and family

And then I asked myself, would I be honoring my priorities by working full-time?  Is it possible for me to say that my family was the most important thing, yet spend most of my waking hours apart from them?  If having a big house, new cars, living in a prestigious neighborhood, and stroking my ego were on my list, working would support those priorities.  But the fact was, the things on my list had nothing to do with money, they had to do with family.  It was then my choice became so clear.

Now I sit here with a 21 month old daughter and I have absolutely no regrets.  I walked away from a job that I loved.  That I literally built from the ground up.  That really was my first baby.  I was a mapping goddess, a super dork, a demographic diva.  And even after a six month maternity leave, when I flipped back and forth in my mind a hundred times whether I should work or not, I cried in front of my boss as I finally quit.

As I drove away from the office for the last time, the most incredible feeling swept over me as this tremendous weight lifted off me: I have the rest of my life.  I was so happy.

I had this incredible opportunity to work, learn, make money, spend money, meet an incredible group of people and have a lot of great experiences as well as late nights.  Now I begin the next chapter of my life.  Now I could totally focus on being the best mom I could be.  There would be no juggling, no balance, only the choices I made every day.

I have been there to nurse K down for every nap.  I have been with her every day to watch the subtle changes in her development.  The beginning of each new phase, new word, new gesture, new shoe size.  I have been there to watch her transition from crawling at the park, to walking, to running to the highest slide on the playground as my heart jumps.  Making oatmeal for breakfast.  Waking up to K’s voice, not an alarm clock.  Afternoons at the park.  That is the reason why I chose to become a mom and I get to experience it all, guilt free.

The “you can have it all” mentality has not be liberating for women, in fact it has been harmful.  It has mislead many women who found that they couldn’t have it all and felt like they were failures.  It gave us an unrealistic expectation of ourselves.  Women of my generation were raised to believe that it was a given that we would work full time, be married, have kids, and be totally happy doing it.  I hear the words “balance” or “juggle” a lot, but never anything to imply that women were not doing 100% in terms of their responsibilities at home or at work.  But the fact is, you can’t build a house and practice opera at the same time.  I can’t write this and read a story to my daughter.  Every moment of the day, we have to make a decision on how we are going to spend that time and any time you decide to do one thing, you are simultaneously deciding NOT to do everything else.  I didn’t want to go to work and have someone else be a mom to my child as I was being an employee.  Ultimately, my greater allegiance is to my daughter.

For me, the whole idea of “having it all” means living a more relaxed, peaceful lifestyle.  Living below our means, saving, and retiring early.  I don’t want to be running from work to daycare to the kitchen to here to there to this thing and that thing.  I want a simple life.  I want a life that when I’m dying, I will be pleased with the choices I made.  When faced with a difficult decision, I often think, “What would I be proud to know I did when I’m dying?”  Whenever I wonder if I should have quit to not – and it has been something that I thought a lot about – I always reflect back to that and it helps make things clear.

While I might regret quitting my job and not pursuing my career, I would definitely mourn missing out on my child’s life.

Well, it’s been 2 1/2 weeks since I got sick and while I still have a mild cough & runny nose, both kids are still totally healthy!  Amazing!!!

One of the last remnants of our trip are the Philadelphia CityPasses I purchased.  I bought them in January to be all prepared for our week in Philly in February.  Well, me, being the queen of the list, did not include the CityPasses on our packing list and remembered as we were driving to the airport that I didn’t pack them… UGH!  Since I was sick for the last 2 full days there and we got to spend more time with the bride and groom than I anticipated, it ended up being fine.  But now I’ve spend almost $150 on these tickets and have no opportunity to use them…. so I’ve listed them on ebay.  If you plan to be in Philadelphia, and will be doing some sight-seeing, check them out!

Northwest offers early boarding for those traveling with small children which was so great as I was traveling by myself with my 2 month old baby.  It was so nice to be able to board the plane and get situated without holding up the line.

So after that experience, imagine my disappointment when I learned a month later when traveling with my husband, 3 year old, and 3 month old that United doesn’t offer early boarding for those traveling with small children, only for disabled passengers.  There is so much that goes into boarding when you have kids with you, holding up the line of the entire plane of passengers only adds to the stress. 

Your family can only move as fast as its slowest member.  And anyone who has traveled with small children knows how slowly they can move down the jetway, onto the plane, down the aisle, until they come across their seat.  My husband and I were busy trying to quickly collapse the stroller at the end of the jetway so we could gate check it and my infant’s car seat then lugging our toddler’s car seat down the aisle, installing the car seat, trapping, err buckling, her into the car seat, ensuring proper drinks, snacks, coloring books, crayons, headphones, iPods, laptops, and movies are organized within the pockets in front of us, and storing all carry-on bags and jackets in the overhead bins and beneath the seats in front of us.  Both my husband and I were sweating by the time we sat in our seats.

When I inquired with the United gate personnel scanning boarding passes, she assured me that ’studies have shown’ that early boarding of those with small children was not as efficient as having everyone board at the same time.  Only disabled passengers are granted early boarding.  Apparently, it’s more efficient for the disabled to board early, but not those with small children even though I’m fairly certain that a disabled person would have been able to board the plane quicker than us.  When I told her that Northwest offered early boarding and how disappointed I was that United didn’t extend the same courtesy, her response was, "Well, you do have a choice on who you fly."  Nothing like a warm and fuzzy response right before you hold up an entire plane’s worth of people.

When I combine the no early boarding with the fact that United will start charging $25 for a second piece of checked luggage on May 6, 2008, I realized that United just doesn’t care about traveling families.  This past trip, we were gone for a week, so we checked 6 pieces of luggage not including the stroller and car seat that we gate checked and then we each had luggage we brought on the plane – a small backpack for my daughter, a huge backpack for my husband, my large diaper bag, and a briefcase containing our laptop.  I can’t imagine paying $75 in ‘excess luggage’ charges, in addition to the cost of our tickets, just for the privilege to fly United.  How can anyone go on an extended trip with two small children and only check three bags?

I would be very interested in knowing how this affects the number of families that chose to fly United.  I know for certain that their numbers just decreased by one.